@omgthatspunny: It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
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@jonnysun: the next time u see a fork in the road, just try to remeber that at least, no mater wat u did, u werent the person who tried to eat the road
@Storminika: If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it.
@truegritrumble: BEEKEEPER: *opens up beehive and finds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich* If that's here... KID: *opens up lunchbox in school cafeteria*
@robdelaney: Reminder: Please just hit the "RT" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art.