@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.
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@alexqarbuckle: Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play
@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell
@UncleDuke1969: COP: License and registration please. ME: *hands him $30 in Kohl’s cash* COP: What do you think you’re doing? ME: *slides him 20% Bed Bath & Beyond coupon* COP: Have a good night.