@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.
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@TylerComeOn: I parked in the "C" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof.
@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.
@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@tacsanitchiban: Whenever someone says "let's get weird" my first thought is "I'm already there"