@sarcasticmommy4: It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.
@NotARatsAss: Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times.
@mylifesuckers: Husband: Let's talk about it when we're not tired and cranky. Me: So, in like 18 years?
@pizzajaynow: Me: "Sorry I'm late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."