@sarcasticmommy4: It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.
@68Cly29: The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before.
@Brianhopecomedy: *presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* "We're here for a haircut."