@SondraDeeMe: It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress.
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@vmochama: why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
@NoTheOtherJohn: [lifts $1000 apple watch to my face] Wrist computer: show me where hot dogs are.
@staceys55: Police: "You were going fast." Me: "I was trying to keep up with traffic." Police: "There isn't any." Me: "That's how far behind I am!"