@Lunatic_times: It might be a sign you have a drinking problem when the cashier at the liquor store asks if you own a bar.
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@No_Job_Joe: My boss just fired me because I spent the past 45 minutes taking a crap. I don't see why he can't just clean it off his desk, and move on.
@Carbosly: When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age.
@theDanLawler: A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours.