@wendchymes: It might be time to diet when you ask Siri to call your " boyfriend" and she dial's up Domino's pizza
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@iamspacegirl: SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job.
@PaperWash: The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat.
@Parentpains: Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.