@ExcuseMyTweets: It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy.
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@WetzelGeek: I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
@rolldiggity: MEDIC: "Put pressure on the wound!" ME: "Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"