@ExcuseMyTweets: It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy.
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@Brampersandon_: [pharmacy] "Can I help you?" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*
@BromanConsul: My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
@PaulShakeySharp: Ive just finished writing my first ever childrens novel. It's called 'We're poor because of you'.