@040204Lawson: It only took four men to wallpaper my house, but I had to slice them really thin.
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@ElgatoEsmio: If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
@Eightinchgoat: You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me.
@JohnLyonTweets: Inmate: Did you bring a cake with a file in it? Me: *holding file folder containing cake photos* I may have misunderstood.
@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.