@halloweenbears: it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison.
@C3Ballin: Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe.
@CauseWereGuys: I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal.