@halloweenbears: it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room
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@WyanRilson: The hardest part of potty training my puppy is shitting outside with him so he can learn how to
@sonictyrant: Me: can i get that last tub of frozen cow juice ? Sales assistant: oh ha ha, thats ben and jerry's Me: *Leans in and slides a 50 over the counter* i wont tell em if you dont
@joshgondelman: I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail.