@juneohara65: It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up.
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@Beesthegame: [Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering.
@markydoodoo: If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so- *me already pressing button* sorry, what?
@meganamram: I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's "Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED," not "Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"
@BuckyIsotope: Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records.