@juneohara65: It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up.
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@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
@jonnysun: *sees a fly* ahhh *trying to swat fly* nooo *gives up* well if ur gona stay at least pay rent lol FLY: *hands me a tiny check* ME: wat the
@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.