@rickygervais: It seems to be true, particularly in middle America, that those most militant about using up fossil fuels, don't actually believe in fossils
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@gorrdano: Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it.
@AbrasiveGhost: INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put "has dominion over bees"? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off
@KyleMcDowell86: *buys roofies, slips then into girlfriends drink, plays video games for 8 hours straight in peace and quiet*