@hazelmotes1: It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants.
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@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer
@sandjoeman: I'd like to apologize to the lady on the bus. I assumed you wanted your hair held back while you ate your banana.
@Ungli_Baba: Me: Dad, how did you guys manage without WhatsApp and SMS ?? Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
@Rockenden: I can't love you. I'm still in love with a girl I saw in a toothpaste ad 15 yrs ago. She winced when she ate ice cream, I can't abandon her.