@ChipKellysBalls: It should be a rule that if you're going to put you kid on a leash, you can't be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them
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@JB4Realz: [creating humans] GOD: Make them imperfect... ANGEL: Okay...done... GOD: Now make them apologize to Me all the time for being imperfect.
@ibid78: [raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much
@davedittell: the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard
@SequelsWeWant: Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail