@Maui_Speaks: It should be illegal to play a police siren on the radio. Signed, my pants.
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@: [Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the— MALE SIRI: Listen, here’s what you need to know. ME: I… MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I’m speaking
@KeetPotato: *gives gf a small gift wrapped box* "aww what's this, youre so sweet" *opens it* "wait, is this my toothbrush?" YOU DONT LIVE HERE KAREN
@thenatewolf: Me: [crouching next to my friend] man, some of these guys take paintball so seriously Log We Are Hiding Behind: freeze