@maxontweet: It should cost $87 to leave someone a voicemail.
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@Parker_Simpson: I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,"Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"
@briangaar: ELMO WANT BIG HUG!!! ELMO WANT KIDS TO KNOW THAT JET FUEL COULDN'T POSSIBLY MELT STRUCTURAL STEEL
@AbbyHasIssues: I fed the neighborhood cat cheaper cat treats and now she's meowing Sarah McLachlan songs in my back yard.
@JaySuch: My doctor told me if I was 5" taller I'd be at the ideal weight, so I'm going to try and give that a shot.