@maxontweet: It should cost $87 to leave someone a voicemail.
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@moooooog35: The sun isn't even up yet but this seems like a good time to start yelling at the top of my lungs trying to find a girlfriend. - birds
@TheTweetOfGod: The Apple Watch may become so addictive it keeps people from looking at what's truly important in life, like their iPhones.
@FrogAvalanche: *live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes.
@AtticusFinch79: Kurt Cobain: come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be Me: in a duck costume Kurt Cobain: not like that