@maxontweet: It should cost $87 to leave someone a voicemail.
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@GreenishDuck: Fun Fact: 100% of people don't know what to do with a dirty dish at someone else's house.
@osigat: People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.
@ericsshadow: If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife.
@funnybeachgirl: *walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*