@Rollinintheseat: "It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?"- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate.
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@Bagyants: The term "Expecting a baby" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows
@dafloydsta: I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]
@mountainlex: I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
@Jebo_te_patak: You say tomato, I say that's a weird thing to say for no reason. We were just sitting here quietly, and you're all "tomato." You can leave.