@Rollinintheseat: "It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?"- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate.
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@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes I'll stop the treadmill at the gym and run in place. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'll say, "Pretend stoplight."
@calvinstowell: Captain America is fighting with the Red Skull on Twitter right now. This is too real.
@WAYNES_O: When the mosquito landed on my face, it was one of the easier decisions of the day for my wife.