@Rollinintheseat: "It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?"- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate.
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@junejuly12: No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended.
@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.
@StarksWeek: Me: "you hang up" Her: "no you hang up" Me: "no you hang up" Her: "no y-" Jail clerk: "sir, you only get one phone call."