@iheartgunts: It started with a star and ended with a restraining order.
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@Brampersandon_: ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse
@hyperseas: Guys, don't ever tell a girl that she's yummier than a gummy bear, she'll know it's not true because nothing is yummier than a gummy bear.
@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.