@Phook75: It sucks when I congratulate a woman on her pregnancy only to have him quickly correct me
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@iwearaonesie: [dinner] son *sigh* What a day wife *kicks me under the table to get me to respond* me *slides my beer over to him* wife *kicks me harder*
@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.