@Phook75: It sucks when I congratulate a woman on her pregnancy only to have him quickly correct me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@underrateDad: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 4,917 times and you're probably my kids.
@KellyMeldrum: It would be easier on everyone if my kids' teachers would cut out the middle man and email my homework assignments directly to me.
@LuvPug: He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus.