@TheWoodenslurpy: It sucks when something bad happens to someone you hate. Nobody will let you gloat. It’s like you can’t even enjoy your own joy.
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@ramenfuneral: sent someone a text that said "you need medieval catheter" when i actually meant "medical attention" and i didn't bother correcting myself
@TheBoydP: I'm not saying I spend a lot of time in the restroom, I'm just saying if you walk into my stall you can be charged with home invasion...
@patcasey72: Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
@Tharin_P: Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue.