@jimmy_sharpe: It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.
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@JohnHilsen: The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he'd get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day.
@garrettn: Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.
@SummerCandyEyes: I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.
@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes