@jimmy_sharpe: It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.
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@michaeldean0116: 'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch.
@slimmy_shady: Me: "Get me a newspaper."Friend: "Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad." Poor spider never knew what hit it.
@ExcuseMyTweets: The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets
@eddiepepitone: I'm with North Korea when comes to being offended by James Franco and Seth Rogen.