@ShrugLord: It takes more muscles to frown than smile, so I'll consider this my workout for the day
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@pixelatedboat: You (drinking coffee): Drugs are bad Me (smugly injecting heroin): Actually, coffee is a drug
@RowdyBowden: Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.
@GibJimson: Assert your dominance by crossing out your coworkers name on their food and put your own. Then eat it in front of them.