@ShrugLord: It takes more muscles to frown than smile, so I'll consider this my workout for the day
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@Mr_Kapowski: [walks into 4D ultrasound office] Receptionist: Uh sir. This is for pregnant women Me: I just want to see my burrito again
@fulciHugazombie: Like most parents, I live in fear of the day I have to explain PRETTY WOMAN to my daughter.
@chuuew: Date: I can't believe you never saw titantic Me: To be fair, it did sink before I was born
@TheToddWilliams: [office party, 1842] Ralph Waldo Emerson: The only gift is a portion of thyself Me: Look Ralph, the rules to Secret Santa were very clear