@ShrugLord: It takes more muscles to frown than smile, so I'll consider this my workout for the day
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@KentWGraham: Given their destructive force to homes, kids’ birthday parties should get names like hurricanes do. Birthday Party Hugo.
@UncleDuke1969: *cocks gun* Me: "Go ahead." Horse: "Just be cool, man." Me: "DRINK." Horse: "No problem. It's just a stupid expression."
@MindyFurano: person: can you keep a secret? me: I'll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life person: oh thank god
@DaddyBeerGuy: Wife-CAN YOU CLEAN UP? Me-*Quietly mutters- I don't work for you! 3-*runs out of room yelling- DADDY SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU!