@SardonicTart: It took me 13 years but I finally deleted most of my e-mails.
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@SteussieErica: [Calling guy I met in bar in '91] Me: Remember you said "Call me any time?" Well, I could really use a sitter tonight.
@Vice_Queen: Boss: You're late! M: It's 6.30am B: You start at 6am! M: I know but that's just crazy. This is better for me. And now we wait for HR.
@TheToddWilliams: Daddy, where do oranges come from? Well son, when a red and a yellow really love each other...
@LifeStricken: How do I explain to this 5yo why it is of paramount importance to use the word kitty instead of pussy in his Mother's day card?