@o__0Dev: It took years for my gf to get me to put down the toilet seat. Though, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
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@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
@stephenjmolloy: Priest: "We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of- *looks at the casket suspiciously* Erwin Schrödinger."