@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.
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@ThoughtOtter: Me at a wine tasting: *swirls glass* *sniffs* *sips slowly* *stares off into the distance* ...Ah, yes. This is in fact wine.
@Gooooats: *standing by the turntables at the club* Her: are you the dj? Me: wha?... Oh, no, I was hoping this was a crepe station
@RikNasty2Point0: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I live in Canada. So, free health care.
@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.