@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: We didn't even have cell phones or the internet when I was your age. 6yo: Did you have bikes? Me....nope, we rode horses. 6yo: WOOOOW
@HomeProbably: The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism.
@nbadag: GARY BUSEY: I WANNA WRITE A BOOK HIS AGENT: gary that's a bad idea—how'd you feel about a ghost writer? GARY: SCARED AS HELL BUT I LIKE IT
@jonnysun: a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years