@apok842: It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely.
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@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
@Feel_Dont_Speak: A friend will invite you for beers A good friend will pick up the tab A best friend will hold your hair All three will have blackmail pics
@Rollinintheseat: *Comments on Facebook picture* "That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."