@wesjohnson8: It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
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@Chumpstring: SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about "my mom's a lesbian now" DAD: please don't
@reesespiece_: Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is "married."nLike that's gonna stop me!
@RobElliottComic: That show Scrubs is bullshit. Not one person in this hospital joined in my song and dance number.
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird