@wesjohnson8: It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
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@NurseMurderer: Backstreet Boys: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Me: *slow dances with cats around a pot of mac & cheese*
@iRowlf: I think these bikers are coming over to give me a group hug because they like the Hello Kitty stickers I put all over their motorcycles.
@BuckyIsotope: *visits new girlfriend's house for 1st time* "Make yourself at home" Great. Thanks! *I crawl into the closet and begin sobbing loudly*