@meganamram: It was definitely Adam and Steve - what kind of straight man hangs out in a garden??
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@Sassafrantz: My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit.
@AnkCoupleTO: Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented
@Asbo_Unicorn: Unicorns have one horn and everyone says "ooh they're so magical" Cow's have 2 horns & no one cares even though they taste so much better
@skillsmcgill: Save money on laser removal of 'love hate' knuckle tattoos, by changing the last letter to an 's' and developing an interest in millinery.