@InternetHippo: It was easier to pick a career when the only choices were farming and witchcraft
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@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
@dril: ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this
@jordan_stratton: I don't know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!