@dinaliz2: it was hard being a teenager with the last name لزيق i mean stalk one guy and you're لزيقة for the next three years
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@Fred_Delicious: Mark Zuckerberg came up with the idea for Facebook when he was at a party & a racist uncle wrote a bible quote on a painting then poked him
@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".
@AndyAsAdjective: captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir
@SonOfCha: They say if you ever get attacked by a shark you should punch it in the nose which is easy cause imagine how composed you would be.