@dinaliz2: it was hard being a teenager with the last name لزيق i mean stalk one guy and you're لزيقة for the next three years
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@BrainFumbles: How to get a woman: 1) find one who sells cars 2) take a test drive 3) just keep driving She's yours now, plus you have a new car.
@Black__Elvis: I used to struggle to keep food on the table until I Googled "how to get your pet turtle Charles to hold still because he's a table now."
@nedostup: Every woman says she wants to be treated like a princess, until you try to marry her off to your most powerful ally.
@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.