@heatherlou_: "IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!" I yell at the guy next to me at the red light while tweezing stray hairs from my chin.
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@titusbb: I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don't even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.
@JMFnSparks: The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want
@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Over 23.6% of relationships fail because one of the partners doesn't like The Princess Bride.
@Parentpains: My wife said she wished she never woke up this morning. Turns out we do have something in common.