@bmarked21: It was nice of Microsoft to put their name on Excel after satan created it.
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@FeverFlave: If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.
@IamEnidColeslaw: "911, what is your emergency?" I got stuck in a beaded curtain "Again?" SEND HELP
@SukaBlunt: I learned 2 things at least when I was married 1. Always passcode lock your phone 2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen
@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.