@juliussharpe: It weirds me out my phone won't swear. What, is it religious?
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@JamieDMJ: Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling.
@Shock_Monster: Frozen pizza recalled? The government appears to have changed tactics to combat drug users: Legalize pot, but take away their food.
@Pro_Jones_: (Date) Me: Sorry I have terrible anxiety and get picnic attacks. Her: You mean panic attacks? Me: *pulling basket out* Oh god make it stop