@BackrowSeats: It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It'll be me laughing at an inappropriate time.
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@carlyken: Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
@HomeProbably: It doesn't matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to be going anywhere in life Hamster therapist: Sounds like you're in a vicious circle
@Contwixt: Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing.
@dinnersruined: I made a barista at Starbucks cry when I put my name down as "Dad" and he just stood there calling it over and over