@WilliamRodgers: It would be cool if a jar of Nutella had more than one serving in it...
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@SteveSuckington: I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
@BigRedKraut: I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me.
@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong