@mydanimarie: It would be way cooler if whenever you punched a kid, a bunch of coins came out of them like in Mario. But ya, I'm free to babysit tonight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TattleTSister: Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around.
@collinwithtwoLs: *cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*
@LizHackett: THEM: I have a story about that person. Someday when I'm drunk enough, I'll tell you. ME: [pulls bottle of wine from purse] Let's do this.
@panmidwest: [Therapist's Waiting Room] ME: you're gonna bring up that I always try to predict the future aren't you WIFE: yup ME: I knew it!