@kelkulus: It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. "This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."
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@lovemydogduck: Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car.
@BritXNic: My waxer just cancelled. So I'm making the best of a bad situation and riding around on top of minivans, Teen Wolf style.
@KevinBuffalo: Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
@squirrel74wkgn: Crap, I hate good-bye kisses. I think that I may have used too much tongue with my mother-in-law.