@juliussharpe: It would suck being run over by a limo because it would take twice as long.
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@CherBear162: Medication for depression "may cause thoughts of suicide". If this were so for all meds then: Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger
@dubiousgenius: Scientists say Spider-Man would not be able to climb vertical surfaces due to his size. It's almost like someone made the whole thing up.
@Tierno158: When I refer to kids as "Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look