@Danny_McH2O: It'd be ironic if deaf people hung out in heards.
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@KateWhineHall: Dear parents who line up 45 minutes early in the school pick-up line, I don't understand.
@weinerdog4life: How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them.
@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."