@AngelaEhh: It'd be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
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@GreenishDuck: Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat.
@AbbyHasIssues: An old guy at the gym told me I looked like his late wife. I'm hoping he meant while she was alive.
@4SLars: Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon
@marcia_bee: Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.