@AndyAsAdjective: It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports.
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@kibblesmith: Nice try "Marco Rubio" — or should I say... [rearranges letters] "BIRAC UBOMA" [audience gasps]
@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.