@Schindizzle: It's 2015. I can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored.
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@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@WheelTod: [Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it