@wwwdotben: It's 3000 AD. Everything is fleek. President Updog has dissolved congress. Women make 700x what men do. I'm still writing 2014 on my checks.
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@awkwardphilippe: ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?
@Shen_the_Bird: Her: what's this writing on your hand? Me: I was cheating on an exam Her: it just says "hand" Me: yeah it was an anatomy exam
@SortaBad: Last night I found out you can make a lot of people REALLY angry if you dress in a Star Trek costume and also carry a light saber
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Just dropped a butcher knife in the kitchen and apparently I can fly now. So that's cool.