@wwwdotben: It's 3000 AD. Everything is fleek. President Updog has dissolved congress. Women make 700x what men do. I'm still writing 2014 on my checks.
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@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
@pixelatedboat: "We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack," I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available
@U_Want_Shum_M8: *wins oscar I'd like to thank my legs,for always supporting me;my arms,who are always by my side& also my fingers,I can always count on them
@Halbeerz: After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies