@wwwdotben: It's 3000 AD. Everything is fleek. President Updog has dissolved congress. Women make 700x what men do. I'm still writing 2014 on my checks.
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@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
@Amrrwise: Dear spouse: When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by...
@Classy_Cassy89: My closet should be on Hoarders. Fell in looking for second shoe. 45 minutes later I had to cut my left arm off with a plastic hanger.