@TidyCats: “IT'S 3AM! TIME FOR SPRINTS!" - Cats
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@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@ohpegah: ME: On the one hand, I have this weird rash. And on the other hand DATE: ?? ME: It's on both hands, I should probably see a doctor
@david8hughes: If I'm found dead in the bathtub clutching a toaster, check for Pop-Tarts before jumping to conclusions.
@TheTobbie: Remember when you were at a friend's house & their folks fought & you didn't know where to look? It's how I get when Glee does a rap song...