@TidyCats: “IT'S 3AM! TIME FOR SPRINTS!" - Cats
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@5oulhealer: A study says sugar is as addictive as smoking, alcohol and cocaine. Now I have to worry about testing positive for skittles!
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@DirtMcTurd: If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave