@erica_rosie: It's 450 BC. Socrates is doing a keg stand at a philosopher frat party. Gets the nickname SoCRAYtes. Nobody takes him seriously ever again.
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@shahnischmani: Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better.
@Parentpains: This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
@ErrenMichaels: The freebie-jeebies That feeling you get when someone creepy buys you a drink without asking.
@Quartzjixler: I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal.