@Pirate_nurse: It's 6 am and I've already referred to a patient as "the one with the tig ol biddies"...wonder what time HR gets here
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@themorris23: Ive always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X.
@DeanB15: Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c "employment is really important right now" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her.
@JasonBerlin: 1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table.