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@UncleDuke1969: "It's a dog-eat-dog world."
- Hannibal Labradoodle
@beermanboobs: *crawls into bed naked*
*grabs a book*
This is nice. I wonder whose house this is.
@abbycohenwl: Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor?
Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango
Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies
@lazerdoov: If I had to be in the military I'd probably pick sleeper cell agent cause I get tired a lot
@Dutch_50: Newspapers are cool because you can cut out eye holes and spy on people. Try that with an iPad.
@TitansHomer: Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt?
Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye.
Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*