@omgthatspunny: It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.
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@Abusitron: Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We didn't even have cell phones or the internet when I was your age. 6yo: Did you have bikes? Me....nope, we rode horses. 6yo: WOOOOW
@qwertying: Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?