@mzeld: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk.

@DirtyySouthMess: I always thought I was attracted to men but this chick eating a Snickers on the elliptical has me questioning things.

@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.

@thestlouisan: My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it

@TheMichaelRock: Nobody pays attention like the person behind the first car at a red light.