@omgthatspunny: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

@occupied_stall: 'High five!' *steals your snacks, runs away

@iwearaonesie: mom: Do you need us to bring anything tomorrow? me: Pumpkin pie mom: Anything else? me: Turkey mom me: Stuffing mom me: Plates

@skittle624: When my husband asked me do something creative for dinner, I drew a cute picture of a dog on a napkin and put it next to the pizza box.

@Book_Krazy: Sam: Welcome to Multiple Personality Club. Sam: No one else is here. Sam: You're here. Sam: I'M YOU, STUPID! Sam: OK EVERYONE CALM DOWN!