@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car
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@DaddyJew: If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?
@LackOfShame: Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say "I love you," she's talking to our dog.
@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@drewjanda: Inventor of raisins: "What do you like about grapes" me: the juice part, the freshness Inventor: right but what if they had neither