@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car
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@PaulyPeligroso: Me: *slides note to bank teller* Bank Teller: So....you're not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with "mad cash" on your face?
@shariv67: When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
@Social_Mime: Creator of Etch A Sketch: We'll show people drawing murals in the commercial but in reality most people will only be able to draw stairs.
@IamEnidColeslaw: if I were Sleeping Beauty I would have killed the prince who woke me up
@LibelousLurker: Note from 5yo: "I need help with my meth." I think she means math. Either way, asking for help is the first step, so good for her.
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