@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car
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@Cage_unlocked: 5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable.
@thepunningman: CEO: It's got wheels Inventor: It's the best we could do CEO: You had 30 yrs I: CEO: Put "may not hover" on the box and get out of my sight
@JimNorton: I just got a text from a number I don't recognize saying, 'You're an embarrassment of a son'. I've narrowed it down to 2 people.