@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
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@scott_towel: When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn't have toilet paper with aloe.
@figgled: TO MY SECRET ADMIRER: thank u for the flowers!! You accidentally had them sent next door & the card says 'Penelope' but it's ok I love them😍
@MakesYouGiggle: Netflix: Are you still there? Me: <in bed, potato chips in hair, dirty pajamas, no makeup, cats surrounding me> Do you really have to ask?