@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
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@TheCiscoKidder: After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently
@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
@Go2Slp: Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper. - The Lyin' King
@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.