@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
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@slimmy_shady: Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
@frankzulla: "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." - Twitter IT engineer that pressed the button for the 280 character limit update
@KalvinMacleod: ME: scalpel NURSE: scalpel M: sclissors N: scissors M: neeble N: are u sure u should operate on ur own brain M: *nods head diagonally* toast